
You know who you are. You come to church every Sunday, walk into the chapel, and sit yourself down in the same stinkin' spot every single week. Normally, seats have to have a reserved sign on them in order for a designated group or family to sit there. But you've made your own mark. You have etched your family name into the pew by sitting there week after week, making your silent declaration to the ward that these spots are yours and yours alone. And what's wrong with that? The Andrews sit in their pew every week too, and so do the Kellys and the Lockharts and the Wilsons. You've all been there for gosh, how long has it been, and you all know the lowdown.
Now those new people, well they better get with it quick. If they think they can come in and sit wherever they want, in your spot, well they've got it coming. Because now you're all bent out of shape because your sacred pew has been violated and where else is there for you to go but to also violate the Andrews spot or the Kellys spot or the Lockharts or the Wilsons? Well now everyone is discombobulated because no one explained to the new people that they need to sit in the back on the hard chairs because there aren't any unclaimed pews left! Ugh! This is indeed a crisis, folks! Whatever shall be done with the new people who don't know the rules?
Well, speaking on behalf of all who have yet to etch their own name into a pew, let me suggest that each family or couple try shifting around each week so that no one gets discombobulated in the first place. Pew Hogger - Don't Be One.






