Can you believe I'm halfway through this pregnancy!? Slowly but surely, the weeks have passed by and here I am with four months under my belt and four months to go! Right now, the baby measures at about 10 inches tall from head to foot! That's right, folks. We go from a spec of dust to ten inches tall in just four months! Imagine the statue of liberty stacked on top of itself nine times. If we grew as quickly as an embryo in the womb, that's how tall we'd be in four months. That is some fierce growing, not to mention all the incredible formation of complex organs and systems happening all along the way. I'm in constant awe of how miraculous it is, and we women have it happen inside of us with very little awareness and pretty much no control over any of it.
It just happens!
And I'm talking from the foundation to the top of the statue, by the way, not just the statue itself! If it was just the statue, it'd be stacked
24 times!!!
I'm really enjoying this pregnancy. Everything has been easy and I've been feeling this baby quite a lot more than I felt Gavin. I am loving his punches and kicks. Sometimes he really gets going and I just sit there, smile, and enjoy every tap I can get. He's definitely an evening guy. He's most active after I put Gavin to bed. That's going to be interesting, since Gavin is a morning person. A morning kid and an evening kid. Sounds like a lot of fun.
I've also been showing earlier than my first, which I know is pretty common. I seem to be about five or six weeks ahead of where I was last time, as far as my bump goes. Can't say I'm necessarily loving that part but I'm at least getting a whole lot closer to looking officially pregnant instead of just fat. I'm sure I'll be there by the time March rolls around.
The latest big event was my
20 week ultrasound. For those who don't know, you usually have an in-depth ultrasound at your halfway point. The technician spends a lot of time looking at the baby - checking out particular structures, taking measurements, and looking for anything out of the ordinary. They look at the brain, the heart, the stomach and kidneys, the bladder, the spine, and measure some of the bones. It's a lot of fun because you get to spend all that time really exploring your baby and getting to know him a lot better.
I had my 20 week ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday, February 2nd, and was super excited to take a closer look at my little boy. Unfortunately, I ended up with a very full plate that day and found myself scrambling to get to the appointment on time. I had to pick up Nick from work and made the terrible mistake of taking surface streets. I got incredibly unlucky on the way, hitting nearly every red light. It was unbelievable and almost laughable, except there was nothing funny about running late to my appointment. What I thought it would take 20 minutes ended up taking 40!
So I didn't get Nick until 4pm, right when I needed to be at my appointment. Yikes! I was feeling pretty stressed out, wondering if we would make it in time. I decided to call and let them know I was running late. They're always an hour or more behind so I figured I might actually be fine. But no one answered. I just got a machine saying their office was closed.
No it's not! Obviously, you're all still there since I have an appointment right now!
It took me 20 minutes to get from Nick's work to the front desk at the office. I hurriedly signed in and told the lady at the front that I was so sorry for being late. I said I'd tried to call and she said, "Oh yeah, we turn our phones off at 4pm."
That put such a bad taste in my mouth. You're all still here for at least another hour and yet you purposely make yourself unavailable to your clients. How is this good business? Good customer service? How hard is it to pick up the phone and help someone? Be available to them? Yuck. I didn't like that at all.
It made me feel like I was an inconvenience instead of a valued customer.
I sit down to fill out some paperwork and my nurse - who is always
very impersonal - comes to the front to tell me I'm too late for my ultrasound. I'm already irked at their stupid phone policy, super flustered that I arrived so late, and now have this major let down that I can't do my ultrasound after all. The nurse tells me I can still see the doctor but he was delivering a baby right then so I'd have to wait an hour. Oh, really?
Wait an hour like I always do at this office? No, thank you. So I had to reschedule for later the next week.
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them for having to reschedule my appointment, nor do I blame the doctor for delivering a baby. Please.
This was all my own fault for not picking a better route and keeping better track of my time. I tend to cut things a little too close and am often late to things. So I paid the price.
BUT...
Just the way I felt in the office helped tipped the scale for me. I'm not enjoying how I'm treated, not feeling valued or welcome there, nor do I appreciate their horribly long wait times. Maybe it's time to look elsewhere.
Unfortunately, shopping for doctors is very tricky. First, many people value different things in a doctor. I was reading reviews on a popular doctor nearby who tells a lot of irreverent jokes during his visits. Some people thought this was fun and endearing while others really hated that kind of levity. So you have to understand what is really important to you and try to seek that out specifically, which requires a LOT of research, time, and risk, because you won't really know for sure until you meet them.
Second, it's not just the doctor but his nurse and staff that influence your experience. I saw plenty of doctors who had good reviews online but everyone hated the nurse, or the office was terrible. Or it could be the other way around, where the staff is great but the doctor isn't. Either way, finding an all around good experience is tough and a bit of a tall order, but more important than you might think. The nurse is especially important because you can certainly end up spending more time with her than the doctor and she's usually your first contact if you ever have any questions or concerns. Having a nurse who is personable, responsive, and respectful is pretty important.
And, of course, the facility matters as well. Again, personal preference comes into play here and, unfortunately, you really just get who you get when it comes to the nurses in labor and delivery. No picking and choosing there. But some facilities rate higher than others and that's a good clue on where to go.
The day after my stressful no-ultrasound day, I spent so much time doing research. It was all stuff I'd seen before, the same doctors with the same reviews and the same hospitals. Not really any new leads there. I was pretty exhausted with it and feeling down. How was I going to find the right place for me? What if everywhere sucks?
Per the suggestion of a friend, I decided a good place to start would be the labor and delivery tours at the different hospitals. Maybe I would get a feel of where I'd like to deliver my baby. I'd delivered Gavin at Intermountain Medical Center in Murray and had liked most of my nurses, especially in recovery. A lot of my hesitation was going to another hospital where maybe I wouldn't feel as comfortable.
After A TON of research, I'd narrowed it down to two hospitals. Alta View Hospital is very close but had some mixed reviews. It seemed like people either loved it or hated it, probably depending on which nurse you got. My other choice was Riverton Hospital. It's quite a bit farther, about a 25 minute drive, but this hospital had the best reviews out of any other hospital. Everyone loved delivering there.
I was so anxious to start my new research plan that I went that same evening, leaving Nick to watch our son. I went down to Alta View first, which is only a 10 minute drive. I was met by a middle-aged nurse who was very low key. She showed me a room and I was a little disappointed in the room size, which seemed a bit small. There was, however, a jetted tub in the room and that sounds pretty awesome.
The nurse told me that this was definitely a more cozy feel in comparison to the bigger hospitals where there are a lot of patients and a lot of hustle and bustle. I did ask about a NICU and they don't have one, which was a concern of mine. But she did say they deliver babies as early as 34 weeks and can care for them there. That put my mind at ease. Hopefully I'll make it that far this time!
Suddenly it struck me.
No one would know doctors better than these labor and delivery nurses. They are the ones who see them in action and know their personalities better than anyone! So I started telling the nurse what kind of a doctor I was looking for. I wanted someone personable, someone who would take the time to talk with me and make me feel like a person instead of just a patient. I also wanted someone who would take good care of me, would communicate with me about my options, about what he was doing in any kind of procedure. And I especially wanted a little bit of enthusiasm, someone who is excited for me and excited about the baby.
After I told her all this, she was very specific. "I think you would like Dr. Russell Smith." She went on to tell me about his personality, that he was caring and very enthusiastic. I was really struck with how decisive she was about that. I recognized his name because I'd researched just about every doctor in the valley and I remembered that he was highly rated. I felt good leaving the hospital, finally having a reliable lead on a good fit for a doctor!
I went on to Riverton Hospital and was hoping to get just as lucky, that the nurse would tip me off on which doctor to see. There was definitely a different feel at Riverton, with lots of nurses around and a bigger feel in general, though not too big that it felt like a zoo. In fact, they had hardly anything going that evening so it was actually pretty quiet.
I had a younger nurse take me to a room, which was much roomier than the Alta View rooms. That was a big draw for me to have everything feel roomier. Didn't see any jets in their tubs, though. When we got to the room, I divulged my plot to find a good doctor from their recommendations there. Unfortunately, she was very hesitant to oblige, saying they were not allowed to recommend anyone. She did drop a few names, though most of them I didn't recognize, and said I'd be in good hands with any of them. I tried to get her to open up about anyone in particular but she wouldn't. Oh well.
I definitely liked the bigger rooms at Riverton, but I felt like either hospital would be fine. It would come down to which doctor I liked best, including his office staff. I had the Alta View lead but not much from Riverton. I called labor and delivery the next day hoping the nurse on the phone would be more forthcoming, but she said the same thing as the other nurse - not allowed to recommend anyone. She directed me to three offices nearby and said I should call and ask them. Definitely not as good as asking the nurses at labor and delivery, but it was my only place to start.
I called and found the receptionists were just as hesitant as the nurses. Seemed like there was a lot of shrugging of shoulders, either because they didn't really know the doctors that well or they didn't want to mention anyone specifically and get in trouble. If I couldn't get a recommendation on a Riverton doctor, then I guess it would be easy and I'd have to trust in this Dr. Smith guy over at Alta View.
On my last office call, I described my perfect doctor and the receptionist said, "That sounds like Dr. Ryan Empey!" Wow! Okay! Finally someone with a decisive answer. I didn't ask much further than that since she sounded so confident and this was my only lead. Not only that, but I remembered that Dr. Empey was the first name the labor and delivery nurse had dropped while I was there at the Riverton Hospital. So maybe we were on to something here!
I wanted to meet with both Dr. Smith and Dr. Empey as soon as possible. I was a little more confident about Dr. Smith, but they couldn't see me until March 2nd. Bummer that I'd have to wait so long but I scheduled it anyway. Dr Empey, on the other hand, could see me as early as next Monday, February 8th, including a visit to do my 20 week ultrasound I'd missed at my other clinic. Okay then. Looks like I'd be seeing Dr. Empey first and then visiting with Dr. Smith a few weeks later.
Then I could make my decision.
So today was the big day!
Finally I'd have my 20 week ultrasound and would get a good look at my little boy. And hopefully I'd have a better experience than at my other office. Time to put it all to the test!
Let me tell you, everything was
GREAT! The ladies at the front desk were adorable, especially this the woman who helped me check in. She was excited about my ultrasound. "That's always so exciting! So much fun!" She didn't wait for me to fill out paperwork. "No one wants to do insurance stuff. You go back and do that ultrasound." What a sweetheart!
The ultrasound technician was really nice too. She was very informative, pointing out everything she was doing and printing off lots of pictures for us. She asked us questions too, about the pregnancy, about in vitro, and about our son. When she learned of my medical history, she said, "I'm sorry, but if you have to go through in vitro, I don't think you should be allowed to suffer through miscarriages too."
Girl, truer words have never been spoken!
Then we met the nurse. Gosh, she was excellent! She really took the time to talk about our history and get to know us. She was so attentive, enthusiastic, and understanding. She'd gone through fertility treatments herself, so she appreciated and understood what we'd been through. She talked about how isolating it is to be infertile, when all your friends are having babies and have no idea of the difficulty. "If they want an April baby, they'll get an April baby!" she said. Yep!
She also talked about how she dumped all this time and money into in vitro and then it didn't work. She did it once and vowed never to do it again because of how emotional it was, how harrowing. Knowing my history, she couldn't understand how I survived what I did. Sometimes I don't even know myself, especially when I meet people who quit after one or two tries. They're more common than the ones who persevere because it's just so draining and upsetting. But I'm very glad I pushed forward.
Anyway, it was nice to share that with her and have her be so understanding. After years and years of other fertility treatments, she did manage to have three kids, so I was happy for her. "That's my goal!" I said. "You'll get there," she said. A few years ago, I would have rolled my eyes at her optimism. But now I appreciate it.
The doctor came in and was very fun. He seems like the kind of guy that you always see smiling and happy, like life is way too awesome to ever feel down. He said he loves talking to his patients and getting to know everyone. I was definitely enjoying his enthusiasm. I told him about my pregnancy with Gavin. He said they'd be keeping a close watch on me to make sure I wouldn't go the pre-eclampsia route again. I sure hope I don't!
All in all, my experience at this office was far better than I'd hoped, especially since every member of the staff was so excellent. My only one complaint - and it's kind of a HUGE complaint - is they wouldn't let me take video of the ultrasound! What!? Why!? Some liability thing, I guess, but so many other offices let you take video or at least give you a DVD of the ultrasound. Man, I was so bummed by that, especially since I loved everything else about the office!
I mentioned this to the doctor and he agreed it was a big bummer. He said he wasn't sure why they didn't do the DVD thing, as if that's saving them a ton of money or something. He did joke with Nick that he should act like he needed to do something on his phone but actually be taking video with it instead. I guess we just got permission to cheat. Haha! If I go with this office, I will make a big stink about it. I hate not having a video of all the fun movements in there. It's just too magical not to have it on film!
So, all I have are pictures. Sorry I can't share the big show with you. And he did put on a show, moving all around in there. I actually felt a few bumps from him during the ultrasound and it made me smile. We got a pretty good look at his face and his limbs, which were all looking very familiar. I see some meaty legs forming, just like Gavin's, and the profile looks a lot like Gavin too. And ya know what, I'm fine with that. It's exciting to think that I'm creating another cute boy in there. Seeing him move all around and looking so cute made me feel so anxious to meet him. I especially enjoyed his thumb sucking, which we saw a month ago at our last ultrasound. That kid definitely likes his thumb. We saw it on 3D ultrasound too and couldn't help but ooh and ah at the cuteness.
My dad had asked if he could come to the ultrasound and I was glad he came so he could see it live, especially since we got no video privileges. I enjoyed all of his "wows" at everything. It really is amazing what we can do with technology, to open this window into the womb. It makes me wonder what we'll be able to do with ultrasounds in another twenty or thirty years.
So, right now, we're very happy with our new office and happy to see our little boy is looking quite healthy, happy, and cute. But I'm anxious to meet with the other doctor too, find out about his staff and his personality. I did call to ask about their ultrasounds and they also don't like the videos but will at least give you a DVD, which is just as good as taking your own video anyway. So they have a huge plus there. But we'll see if his staff can compete with what we saw today. Nick and I left feeling very impressed with our experience there and that's going to be hard to beat.
I'm set to go back to the Riverton doctor on March 7th. They'll be doing another ultrasound because our little guy wouldn't cooperate and let us see the bottom of his spine. Another ultrasound? That's fine with me! I meet with the Dr. Smith at Alta View on March 2nd, though I keep trying to see if they have any cancellations so I can see him sooner. Either way, I'm feeling more excited about my new prospects of doctors and staff and will be cancelling over at my old clinic.
Amazing what a journey it is to find the right doctor!!
But to me, it's worth it. This is the most magical experience and I want to be in good hands. I'm so happy for this pregnancy and anxious to see my two cute boys together. We're going to be quite the team.
