A New Home for Baby Taylor & Family

I should be packing, putting all my things into boxes for yet another Taylor family move. That’s what I should be doing. But writing sounds so much better.

I’m in full blown pregnancy mode right now. I’m feeling enormous all over and it’s getting uncomfortable to shift around. I feel (and see) the stretching happening. And there are aches and pains in special places. There may be glorious things happening with the baby inside of me, but nothing so glorious happening with my own body.

I know this is the price you pay for motherhood – oh wait, I’ve paid a lot of prices for that! – and I should be grateful. And I am. Honestly, my pregnancy has been pretty easy and I know it could be a lot worse, with thick ankles and heartburn and leg cramps and whatever else gets thrown on the table with pregnancy. But I do I feel large and unattractive, emphasis on FEEL because I know I don’t look unattractive, I just look pregnant. But then I look down at my belly and know it’s going to get larger – perhaps MUCH larger - and that definitely scares me! More stretching? More discomfort? For two months?? Oh boy!

As you can imagine, I’m feeling ready for this baby to come now. At least my body is feeling that way. I was telling my husband that I feel like a host now, that my body is not my own, and it’s a little bit freaky and uncomfortable at times. When I had Gavin, I remember feeling sadness and loss, because I felt myself lose that bond we’d had being tied together, occupying the same space. It was a strange and unexpected feeling. Now I’m wondering if I’ll be feeling relief instead, when this baby comes out and I can have my body back. With Gavin, I never got so big and uncomfortable. But this baby is a different story, and I imagine the experiences between birthings can be very different as well.

And I can feel that birthing getting closer and closer, about eight weeks away now! I can’t quite wrap my head around it yet, but then we never know how it’s going to pan out so it makes it hard to really envision it. There are so many unknowns until you’re in the moment. I think I have pretty reasonable expectations, especially knowing things can happen so differently than you expect. Really it’s just about getting the baby here and everyone feeling okay in the end.

I only have two major preferences – to deliver the baby full term (or close enough), and to deliver vaginally. I keep having this fear of a C-Section, just because I know that it happens to plenty of women. I’d be a little nervous for the procedure itself, but I’m more nervous to feel gipped out of my birthing experience. I don’t want to feel let down in that way. Still, if everyone is happy and healthy in the end, then it’ll be okay.

As of right now, I don’t have any reason to expect any trouble. I’ve had a few scares, but they were false alarms. I have a terrible cold right now and was having trouble breathing the other night. It’s always a little difficult to breathe when you can’t use your nostrils! But I found myself struggling to get enough air even when breathing through my mouth. Then I heard this sound on my exhale, the same squeaking and crackling sounds I’d heard when I’d gotten pre-eclampsia with Gavin and my lungs had filled up with fluid. Oh no! Was this happening all over again? Please don’t tell me I’m going to have a repeat experience, get severe pre-eclampsia, and deliver this baby early, with no sleep either!

I figured the cold could produce a similar experience, that my lungs could be hampered down by mucus and produce those same sounds. But I decided to call my doctor, just to be sure. The doctor asked if I had any other pre-eclampsia symptoms, and I didn’t. He assured me that it was the cold. Phew! False alarm, thank goodness!

I also had elevated glucose levels and had to take the lovely three hour glucose test last Friday. You drink this yucky sugary liquid and they draw your blood four different times to see what your body does with all that sugar inside of you. Results came back today and I do NOT have gestational diabetes. Another dodged bullet.

So everything continues to progress normally and I’m feeling thankful. I feel like I can’t really be surprised by anything at this point. If I suddenly had complications and had to deliver early, I wouldn’t be surprised. It happens and I’m familiar with the experience. If we went full term with no troubles, I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s been an easy baby thus far, and seems healthy and strong, so I have no reason to believe things should go wrong. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was late!

Actually, I’m getting more and more convinced that a scheduled induction is the right way to go this time because I really cannot have him be late. We have too many things going on later in June and July so if he decides to cook extra long in there, it will complicate things a little. For now, I’m eye-balling the weekend of June 18^th as my induction weekend. That’s only a few days shy of his due date anyway, so he may have already come by then, which would be great.

Hopefully I’ll have figured out his name by then! I’m really wishing I had one ready so I could start calling him that, make it feel more like he has an identity other than just, “baby.” I am an over-the-top perfectionist when it comes to names, probably the most name-obsessed person I know. I mean, I’ve spent hours – HOURS – coming up with names for my video game characters. So you can imagine the struggle to find a name for my child. Hey, you’re stuck with this thing for LIFE! It better be a good one. I need it to look good and sound good, but it’s been a never-ending struggle to find something I LOVE for a boy name.

The search continues, but he’ll probably be named Ethan, since I haven’t found anything else I love quite as much and I’ve definitely been searching and searching. Just need to find a magical middle name to go with Ethan, or a unique name that goes well with Taylor and sounds super rad. Haven’t found that yet. I think he’s going to need a good strong named, based on his punches and kicks. I’ve even gasped while writing this blog because he punched me so bad and it really hurt!

I may be ready physically, but this is definitely not the time for him to come. We’re right in the middle of a big move and this move is different from the others. Yes, Nick and I are finally buying our first home! It feels weird and different and scary and exciting. It took a lot of searching for us to find what we wanted, and we had to make a few compromises, but it’s really a lovely home and will be good for our growing family.

I’ll include some pictures, but I’ll tell you a little bit about the home. There were two major selling points for us. First, the home is just a four minute walk to the Trax station. Because of our medical bills, we’ve been a one car family for a while now and probably will be for some time. We were hoping to keep it that way, and this is a perfect opportunity to do that. Nick has been biking to work, but the winter months were difficult when biking wasn’t an option. Now he can take Trax directly from his home to his work, no matter the weather, so it’s a great year-round solution to our transportation dilemma.

The other big selling point was the openness. We both really love an open feel and this home definitely has it, with vaulted ceilings and an airy feeling that’s very inviting. I really really love that about the home.

There are some other great features too. There are some mountain views and a very cool deck in the backyard that’ll be great for entertaining. There are some pretty swank showers in the home that are very accommodating for tall husbands. The home itself is very clean, with no major projects needed. And the neighborhood is really quite lovely, with very nice homes, cool parks, and the Jordan Landing shopping center nearby, which has every store and restaurant you could want in it. They don’t have a Cheesecake Factory though. Hmmm, probably a good thing.

It’ll be exciting to move in, which happens this Saturday, April 30^th. Gosh, it will be weird to actually own a home, to paint my walls and decorate and do repairs and upgrades and landscaping, all how I want to do it. It’s going to be a lot of fun and I’m excited for Nick especially, for him to have projects to work on and something to be proud of. It’s been a long time coming, that’s for sure.

Funny thing is, there are a lot of different emotions involved. I’m actually quite sad to leave our place. There are annoyances with our condo, but it’s been a good home for us and that’s been the case with just about everywhere we’ve lived. We lived in two different apartments in Albuquerque, four different places in Hawaii, and this will be our fourth place in Utah now. And each one has had its charm, and has led us to new people and new experiences. This move is especially hard because I’ve really enjoyed the neighborhood and the people I’ve met here. Not to say that I’m closing that chapter on everyone. I’m pretty good about staying connected and keeping in touch. But I would have liked to have had more time getting to know everyone here before moving away.

It’s made me realize how a home is so much more than the walls around you. It’s more about the experiences you have in the home, the memories you make. It’s about the people who come into your life, time with friends and family, the neighborhood and how you feel there.

I look back and remember things I loved about each place we lived, certain rooms or a particular layout I liked. We had this apartment in Albuquerque with a stellar patio. It looked out onto the Sandia mountains, which would blaze in the evening sun and turn a beautiful pink. We had a condo in Hawaii with the cutest tropical yard and vaulted ceilings in the living room. We had an apartment in Utah that had the perfect floor plan and such beautiful grounds, with rivers and ponds and lots of plants. We’ve lived in some nice places.

But honestly, one of my favorites was a teeny tiny home in Hawaii, a little one-bedroom unit with all our furniture crammed in there. But it was the best of times, because we had such awesome neighbors that all looked out for each other and we all had fun together, with all of us going to school at the college there. And we had the beach just down the street so that was a huge bonus and added to the laid-back Hawaii feel of our home there. Maybe the home itself wasn’t so great, but we loved our time living there and made amazing memories.

So yes, the home itself is only one part of a much larger equation. I feel blessed to have had so many different experiences, to have met so many different people, to have lived in some really nice places, and to have learned a lot along the way.

But all that has made me nervous for this big change, to be living somewhere for a longer period of time. This will be our tenth move in ten years. The nice thing about being so transient is that you can move on from the bad things you don’t like. Maybe you aren’t loving the neighborhood, or the home itself, or you’re having a hard time making friends. No problem! You only have to give it a year before you’re on to the next experience. But this time, I’m feeling seriously nervous about our new place and hoping I will like it there.

I suppose I have a pretty good track record thus far. In fact, the places I didn’t make friends were only that way because I made no effort. The more effort I made, the more success I had, and trust me, I’ve gotten REALLY good at making an effort and having success. Still, you wonder what kind of people you meet and how well you can dig into the community there. Settling down is something completely foreign to me. We’ll see if I can hack it.

And that’s the funny thing. There’s certainly more sense of permanency with buying a home. But I still look at it like a huge unknown. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that life is completely unpredictable. We may have plans to stay, but we can never know for certain how circumstances may chance, or when. So in many ways, I see this home the same way I saw all the others, another place for our family, another experience. We’ll be making the best of it, like we usually do, and we’ll see how long it lasts. It may be a few years. It may be a good long while. Who knows!

So we do our packing this week and move this weekend and then the beauty of moving in begins. It will be so nice not to have to find nooks and crannies to cram our belongings into. And it will be fun to decorate the boys’ rooms and get ready for this baby. Maybe – just maybe – once we have some painting done and some furnishings bought and a few home projects completed, we’ll have a few weeks to breathe and let it sink in that this baby is coming. I’ve been so busy these past few months, it just hasn’t felt real at all. There’s just too much going on to really think about it. It’d be nice to have some time to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for all that, for the birth and the newborn stage. How nice that we’ll at least have a home, have some real space to do my mothering thing. I can’t tell you how especially excited I am for Gavin to have a yard. Yeah!

I’m still keeping busy with a few different art projects, trying to cram in whatever I can before the baby comes. It’s been fun to focus on that and develop my talents. Gosh, there just isn’t enough time in the day, especially for a mom! And I only have one child right now! I could do a whole other blog post on just how overwhelming it is to be a mom and try to juggle it all, try to find balance in all there is to do! It’s a lesson I haven’t quite learned yet, but life will teach it to me, I know!

But I do love being a mom, especially to this amazing little boy I have. I am in constant awe of how adorable he is, how smart he is, how fun he is, and how loving and nurturing he is. And I'm loving the phase he's in right now, where his communication is advancing and he's getting a little easier to talk to and reason with, and saying and doing some of the cutest things.

Lately, he's been getting so good at memorizing songs and singing along and we just love it, especially when he's dancing too. We had a playlist going this evening while we were packing some boxes, and he was cracking us up with how well he was singing along with some of the songs. He's definitely paying close attention, way more than we thought he was. I swear he's going to be smarter than me by the time he's 10 years old.

And I love how affectionate he's become. He loves to hug his parents and to show his love to little babies and other kids. I see him love his bear, care for it and kiss it like a baby. He's going to be the sweetest big brother with that big heart of his. How have I been so blessed?

I'll leave you with some pictures of our new home in West Jordan. That's where I'll be blogging from next. Woohoo!

Front porch

Walking in the door, here is the front room.

Another view of the front room, looking at the front door.

Into the formal dining room.

And then into the kitchen.

Which connects to the breakfast nook and looks down into the living room.

The living room!

There's a little bathroom off the living room.

And the laundry room too.

Down to the basement living area.

And the basement bathroom, which connects two bedrooms.

Basement bedroom #1.

Basement bedroom #2.

Going upstairs now. Looking down from the upstairs hallway to the kitchen and front room.

Master bedroom upstairs.

With master bathroom.

And a walk-in closet.

Down the hall is the kids' bathroom.

And upstairs bedroom #1.

And upstairs bedroom #2.

Going outside to see the deck and hot tub.

More views of the deck, with access to both the breakfast nook or the living room.

And there's our home! :)

The Final Countdown - Third Trimester

Hello and welcome to the third trimester, filled with excitement, anticipation, and a whole lot of largeness!

I’m coming up on 28 weeks now and it feels good to be here. Each day that passes is one day closer to a healthy baby outside the womb. And boy, is he ever healthy! He is kicking and punching and moving all around. It’s so reassuring to feel that throughout the day and it’s fascinating to feel the different movements and wonder what in the world is happening in there! I’ve felt him kicking my hip bone, as far to the side as you can get, and I can’t imagine how he’s all the way over there. Sometimes I feel like he’s just trying to bust his way out already. Makes me nervous for when he’s a few pounds heavier!

We had another look at him on ultrasound a few weeks ago, probably our last one until he makes his big debut. I’d made the decision to go with the Riverton doctor. Even though they didn’t allow recording of the ultrasound, I loved everything else about my experience there so I figured it was the better choice, especially with the nicer hospital. We actually had Nick sneak some footage of the ultrasound but it didn’t quite work out anyway and that was okay. It’s more fun to watch when the baby is moving all around and he wasn’t quite as active this time, nor was he in the best position for great photos. But he looked healthy and strong and is still measuring five days ahead, which is all good news and what matters most.

I got to talk to the doctor a little more at this visit. He’s definitely very funny and I’m feeling more comfortable with him. We mostly talked about the possibility of a scheduled induction. We have a very busy summer with a lot going on right around his due date. It’d be nice to have his delivery scheduled so we can make set plans instead of them being all up in the air until the last minute. I hate to miss out on the excitement of going into labor on my own but that’s about the only downside, and he could always come on his own before that too. The doctor said I could be induced at 39 weeks, which works for me. We’re too far from the due date to talk too seriously about it right now. The doctor said he’d be happy to have that conversation with me because it means we made it that far!

Of course he’s referring to my risk for developing pre eclampsia again. It’s such an odd condition – your body basically reacting negatively to the placenta - and it hits much more often with first pregnancies than with others. But I’m still at risk and I’m suddenly feeling very aware of that risk now that I’m into my third trimester. Fortunately, I don’t have too many of the big risk factors, like diabetes, obesity, twins, or being over 40. But I did get it pretty early on and pretty severely the last time. It can happen any time after 20 weeks but is much more common after 37 weeks. I had my first symptoms at around 31 or 32 weeks and had to deliver Gavin at 33 weeks when my condition became severe and my lungs filled up with fluid. So we’re all going to feel very grateful for each week that passes without incident!

We have our hearts set on delivering in June, not only to avoid the pre eclampsia problems and deliver a healthy baby, but to take advantage of a brand new benefit offered at Nick’s new job. Starting June 1^st, employees can take three weeks paid parental leave! That is so exciting and such a fantastic benefit for both parents! The baby will be 37 weeks by June 1^st so we feel good about him coming at any point after that. Come on, baby, let’s make it to June!

It makes me wonder about the pre eclampsia issue and whether we’ll make it that far. I tried seeing if there were any ways to avoid it, but it sounds like you either get it or you don’t. That being said, it has made me a little more concerned about how I’m treating my body. The numbers on the scale paint a pretty good picture of just how poorly I’ve been treating myself these past few months and I’m not at all happy about it. I was in good shape before getting pregnant but was way too scared to work out once I started the in vitro process. It’s been a downward spiral since then and I’ve let myself get addicted to sugar and fall completely out of shape. So I’m feeling the need to make some changes now instead of waiting until the baby comes. I want to feel confident that I’m giving my baby the best chance at delivering full term and I know that delivery and recovery go much better when you’re healthy and fit anyway. 

So I want to make a commitment to stop drinking soda since it offers nothing good for you at all. And I want to cut out a lot of the sugar. My husband has been wanting to do the same so we’ll probably sit down and make a plan together. I know some people think pregnancy is a free pass to eat whatever but it really isn’t healthy and I’m definitely feeling it. Yuck.

With me starting my third trimester, I’m feeling a little antsy and wanting to get ready. I’ve at least figured out where I’m delivering and who my doctor will be. Thank goodness for that! But we’re still undecided on names and are now dealing with the reality of getting moved into a home before the baby comes. Searching for a home has been incredibly taxing and I’ve been struggling to sort out how we can get the most bang for our buck with this crazy competitive market we’re in.

After a whole lot of searching, we’re finally under contract for a home as of today! We love the home and the location is very convenient for Nick getting to work. But I’m not celebrating yet since we have inspections to do and will need to sort through any other negotiations that may come up. Once we get that behind us, hoping all goes well, then we’ll be set to move in at the end of April, giving me about six or seven weeks to prepare for the baby in our new home. It will be a very exciting time and I’m looking forward to it! Lots of changes ahead, but lots of good things. I’m feeling incredibly blessed.

In the meantime, I’ve been doing some babysitting to earn some extra money and have been working on my artwork. It’d be nice to actually earn some money from my art and one of my friends has been pushing me to make a coloring book. So I’m finally doing that. It’s been challenging but fun and I’m hoping it’ll actually pan out into something lucrative, even if it’s only a little bit. I know as the weeks go by, it’ll get harder and harder to focus on that stuff, especially with so much to do in getting ready to move and preparing for the baby. But those are fun and exciting things to keep me busy so I don’t mind!

This is a wonderful time. Gavin can be challenging but is just so darn cute and makes us laugh all the time. It is amazing how much he talks and how quickly he learns. Nick has his new job that is going well and giving us awesome new benefits. I’m working on fun projects at home and enjoying my time for hobbies and friends. We’re finally buying our first home and feeling really excited about it. And we have this little blessing doing acrobatics inside my belly. It’s just one of those seasons in life where you have to stop and appreciate how beautiful everything is. We know all about extreme highs and lows in this family and this is definitely an extreme high. We’ll take it!

Once we have things squared away, I’ll share more about the home and keep you posted on my progress with my health. In another month, this baby will have almost doubled in weight so it’s all the more reason for me to keep an eye on my own weight so I don’t end up falling over from an enormous belly. I’m feeling plenty large already with just a 2 lbs baby in there, and it’s getting uncomfortable to sleep and move too much. Yes, time to take better care of myself and my baby too. Or he might come out looking like a block of chocolate.

Five Months - An Egg, an Embryo, a Viable Baby

Today is February 22nd, which puts me exactly four months from my due date. This week, I will be 23 weeks along and my baby will be viable. Granted, his odds wouldn't be so great this early on, but it's a bit of a milestone to think that your baby could make it if things got complicated, that life is possible outside of the womb.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how many unknowns are in our immediate future. It's wonderful that one of our big unknowns has turned into a positive, that this in vitro cycle worked out and I've enjoyed an easy pregnancy. Three years ago, I was dealing with the darkness surrounding my third miscarriage. It's amazing to think how much has changed in just that short of a time, not only that I have a son and a second on the way, but that I'm so far removed from that sorrowful state I was in. In fact, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life right now and I'm continually thankful for that.

But I've been remembering just how unpredictable life can be. We're all assuming that I will carry this baby full term, that I'll have a more natural experience with birth and recovery than I did with Gavin. But really, there's no guarantee. I'm not here to be a pessimist but I do know that life can throw you curve balls, even when you're hopeful. I look at my belly and wonder if I'll have a scar there someday, whether this baby will be born in May or even April. While my chances for pre-eclampsia are somewhat low at 25%, it could certainly still happen again, perhaps earlier or later than last time. You can never really know how things will progress, or whether any other issues will arise.

I'm still feeling hopeful and confident about the baby. I'd love to make it all the way and have a normal delivery. But I look ahead and realize that it's all an unknown until we get there.

On top of that, we're in the market to buy a home. Finally, after ten years of marriage and nine moves, we'll be buying our first home together. This has been something we've been looking forward to for years and has been outside of our reach for one reason or another. But Nick got a new job here in Utah and that helps us feel more secure in staying for a while. And with another baby on the way, it makes sense to buy instead of rent. We're thrilled at the opportunity to finally settle down, to put in the time to make our home our own, and know we can enjoy it for more than a year! Woohoo!

It will probably look like this.

Or maybe this.

Hey, I can dream, right?

The thing about home buying is it presents another unknown. The market has not been as promising as we hoped, so it may take a few more months to find what's right for us. It'd be nice to have a home before our baby comes, but it may not happen if we can't find what we're looking for. I could be moving all our belongings with an enormous belly or with a brand new baby and neither sound too thrilling. (P.S. After moving so much, I really hate moving). So the timing is a big fat question mark, nor do we know where we'll end up. We're open to a few different cities around the valley. So here I am shopping for a new doctor and a hospital but I have no clue whether that choice will be convenient to my new home or not.

So I don't know where I'll be bringing my baby home to. It could be here in our two-bedroom condo, or it could be our new home, wherever that is. All I know is, it does stink to have a brand new baby at a brand new church. It's more fun to have the support and excitement of everyone you know, or so I would assume anyway. We'd only been in our last ward about a month before we had Gavin, so no one even knew who we were! We'll probably be doing that all over again.

Here we are in limbo land but I'm at a really happy place right now. I've got an adorable baby moving around in my belly and am excited to meet him. Gavin is getting cuter and cuter with his communicating and loves his mommy very much. Nick is as at a new job with some great opportunities to develop his skills and advance his career. I've been working a lot more on my artwork and feel excited about it. And I've made some really good friends here and have enjoyed filling my schedule with visits, games, crafts, and other adventures. In fact, we had a completely impromptu outing and dinner with friends last night, just because we ran into each other in the neighborhood. That's my kinda lifestyle.

Nick and I have our ten year anniversary in a few weeks and we'll be going on a kid-free trip (unless you count the baby, I guess) to San Diego where we honeymooned. We actually haven't been back since and are excited to explore the area and have fun together. After being stuck in this smog-filled valley these last six months, I'm very much looking forward to a change in scenery!

In the meantime, my doctor search is coming to a close. I was able to get in to the Alta View doctor about a week ago and actually liked him a little better than the Riverton doctor. The Alta View doctor was more professional and felt more concerned and caring while the Riverton doctor was more of a guy you'd invite to your BBQ for his laughs and enthusiasm.

But in every other way, Alta View was the lesser of the two options. The facility is older and smaller, felt really cramped, and was not as inviting as Riverton. The office felt like it hadn't been changed since 1985, with old color on the walls and low lighting. Plus the nurse and staff were not as engaging. In fact, the nurse hardly interacted with me at all, a huge contrast to my Riverton experience. So I'm feeling more comfortable moving forward with the Riverton doctor as I enjoyed every bit of my experience there. I just need to see if I can work around their policy of no video at ultrasounds, since I hate to miss out on preserving that experience.

Things are looking up, just a little bit in limbo. But I'm happy for the here and now. Life is treating me well and I'm soaking up all the happiness I can get.

My Expedition for an Obstetrician

Can you believe I'm halfway through this pregnancy!? Slowly but surely, the weeks have passed by and here I am with four months under my belt and four months to go! Right now, the baby measures at about 10 inches tall from head to foot! That's right, folks. We go from a spec of dust to ten inches tall in just four months! Imagine the statue of liberty stacked on top of itself nine times. If we grew as quickly as an embryo in the womb, that's how tall we'd be in four months. That is some fierce growing, not to mention all the incredible formation of complex organs and systems happening all along the way. I'm in constant awe of how miraculous it is, and we women have it happen inside of us with very little awareness and pretty much no control over any of it. It just happens!

And I'm talking from the foundation to the top of the statue, by the way, not just the statue itself! If it was just the statue, it'd be stacked 24 times!!!

I'm really enjoying this pregnancy. Everything has been easy and I've been feeling this baby quite a lot more than I felt Gavin. I am loving his punches and kicks. Sometimes he really gets going and I just sit there, smile, and enjoy every tap I can get. He's definitely an evening guy. He's most active after I put Gavin to bed. That's going to be interesting, since Gavin is a morning person. A morning kid and an evening kid. Sounds like a lot of fun.

I've also been showing earlier than my first, which I know is pretty common. I seem to be about five or six weeks ahead of where I was last time, as far as my bump goes. Can't say I'm necessarily loving that part but I'm at least getting a whole lot closer to looking officially pregnant instead of just fat. I'm sure I'll be there by the time March rolls around.

The latest big event was my 20 week ultrasound. For those who don't know, you usually have an in-depth ultrasound at your halfway point. The technician spends a lot of time looking at the baby - checking out particular structures, taking measurements, and looking for anything out of the ordinary. They look at the brain, the heart, the stomach and kidneys, the bladder, the spine, and measure some of the bones. It's a lot of fun because you get to spend all that time really exploring your baby and getting to know him a lot better.

I had my 20 week ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday, February 2nd, and was super excited to take a closer look at my little boy. Unfortunately, I ended up with a very full plate that day and found myself scrambling to get to the appointment on time. I had to pick up Nick from work and made the terrible mistake of taking surface streets. I got incredibly unlucky on the way, hitting nearly every red light. It was unbelievable and almost laughable, except there was nothing funny about running late to my appointment. What I thought it would take 20 minutes ended up taking 40!

So I didn't get Nick until 4pm, right when I needed to be at my appointment. Yikes! I was feeling pretty stressed out, wondering if we would make it in time. I decided to call and let them know I was running late. They're always an hour or more behind so I figured I might actually be fine. But no one answered. I just got a machine saying their office was closed. No it's not! Obviously, you're all still there since I have an appointment right now!

It took me 20 minutes to get from Nick's work to the front desk at the office. I hurriedly signed in and told the lady at the front that I was so sorry for being late. I said I'd tried to call and she said, "Oh yeah, we turn our phones off at 4pm." That put such a bad taste in my mouth. You're all still here for at least another hour and yet you purposely make yourself unavailable to your clients. How is this good business? Good customer service? How hard is it to pick up the phone and help someone? Be available to them? Yuck. I didn't like that at all. It made me feel like I was an inconvenience instead of a valued customer.

I sit down to fill out some paperwork and my nurse - who is always very impersonal - comes to the front to tell me I'm too late for my ultrasound. I'm already irked at their stupid phone policy, super flustered that I arrived so late, and now have this major let down that I can't do my ultrasound after all. The nurse tells me I can still see the doctor but he was delivering a baby right then so I'd have to wait an hour. Oh, really? Wait an hour like I always do at this office? No, thank you. So I had to reschedule for later the next week.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them for having to reschedule my appointment, nor do I blame the doctor for delivering a baby. Please. This was all my own fault for not picking a better route and keeping better track of my time. I tend to cut things a little too close and am often late to things. So I paid the price.

BUT...

Just the way I felt in the office helped tipped the scale for me. I'm not enjoying how I'm treated, not feeling valued or welcome there, nor do I appreciate their horribly long wait times. Maybe it's time to look elsewhere.

Unfortunately, shopping for doctors is very tricky. First, many people value different things in a doctor. I was reading reviews on a popular doctor nearby who tells a lot of irreverent jokes during his visits. Some people thought this was fun and endearing while others really hated that kind of levity. So you have to understand what is really important to you and try to seek that out specifically, which requires a LOT of research, time, and risk, because you won't really know for sure until you meet them.

Second, it's not just the doctor but his nurse and staff that influence your experience. I saw plenty of doctors who had good reviews online but everyone hated the nurse, or the office was terrible. Or it could be the other way around, where the staff is great but the doctor isn't. Either way, finding an all around good experience is tough and a bit of a tall order, but more important than you might think. The nurse is especially important because you can certainly end up spending more time with her than the doctor and she's usually your first contact if you ever have any questions or concerns. Having a nurse who is personable, responsive, and respectful is pretty important.

And, of course, the facility matters as well. Again, personal preference comes into play here and, unfortunately, you really just get who you get when it comes to the nurses in labor and delivery. No picking and choosing there. But some facilities rate higher than others and that's a good clue on where to go.

The day after my stressful no-ultrasound day, I spent so much time doing research. It was all stuff I'd seen before, the same doctors with the same reviews and the same hospitals. Not really any new leads there. I was pretty exhausted with it and feeling down. How was I going to find the right place for me? What if everywhere sucks?

Per the suggestion of a friend, I decided a good place to start would be the labor and delivery tours at the different hospitals. Maybe I would get a feel of where I'd like to deliver my baby. I'd delivered Gavin at Intermountain Medical Center in Murray and had liked most of my nurses, especially in recovery. A lot of my hesitation was going to another hospital where maybe I wouldn't feel as comfortable.

After A TON of research, I'd narrowed it down to two hospitals. Alta View Hospital is very close but had some mixed reviews. It seemed like people either loved it or hated it, probably depending on which nurse you got. My other choice was Riverton Hospital. It's quite a bit farther, about a 25 minute drive, but this hospital had the best reviews out of any other hospital. Everyone loved delivering there.

I was so anxious to start my new research plan that I went that same evening, leaving Nick to watch our son. I went down to Alta View first, which is only a 10 minute drive. I was met by a middle-aged nurse who was very low key. She showed me a room and I was a little disappointed in the room size, which seemed a bit small. There was, however, a jetted tub in the room and that sounds pretty awesome.

The nurse told me that this was definitely a more cozy feel in comparison to the bigger hospitals where there are a lot of patients and a lot of hustle and bustle. I did ask about a NICU and they don't have one, which was a concern of mine. But she did say they deliver babies as early as 34 weeks and can care for them there. That put my mind at ease. Hopefully I'll make it that far this time!

Suddenly it struck me. No one would know doctors better than these labor and delivery nurses. They are the ones who see them in action and know their personalities better than anyone! So I started telling the nurse what kind of a doctor I was looking for. I wanted someone personable, someone who would take the time to talk with me and make me feel like a person instead of just a patient. I also wanted someone who would take good care of me, would communicate with me about my options, about what he was doing in any kind of procedure. And I especially wanted a little bit of enthusiasm, someone who is excited for me and excited about the baby.

After I told her all this, she was very specific. "I think you would like Dr. Russell Smith." She went on to tell me about his personality, that he was caring and very enthusiastic. I was really struck with how decisive she was about that. I recognized his name because I'd researched just about every doctor in the valley and I remembered that he was highly rated. I felt good leaving the hospital, finally having a reliable lead on a good fit for a doctor!

I went on to Riverton Hospital and was hoping to get just as lucky, that the nurse would tip me off on which doctor to see. There was definitely a different feel at Riverton, with lots of nurses around and a bigger feel in general, though not too big that it felt like a zoo. In fact, they had hardly anything going that evening so it was actually pretty quiet.

I had a younger nurse take me to a room, which was much roomier than the Alta View rooms. That was a big draw for me to have everything feel roomier. Didn't see any jets in their tubs, though. When we got to the room, I divulged my plot to find a good doctor from their recommendations there. Unfortunately, she was very hesitant to oblige, saying they were not allowed to recommend anyone. She did drop a few names, though most of them I didn't recognize, and said I'd be in good hands with any of them. I tried to get her to open up about anyone in particular but she wouldn't. Oh well.

I definitely liked the bigger rooms at Riverton, but I felt like either hospital would be fine. It would come down to which doctor I liked best, including his office staff. I had the Alta View lead but not much from Riverton. I called labor and delivery the next day hoping the nurse on the phone would be more forthcoming, but she said the same thing as the other nurse - not allowed to recommend anyone. She directed me to three offices nearby and said I should call and ask them. Definitely not as good as asking the nurses at labor and delivery, but it was my only place to start.

I called and found the receptionists were just as hesitant as the nurses. Seemed like there was a lot of shrugging of shoulders, either because they didn't really know the doctors that well or they didn't want to mention anyone specifically and get in trouble. If I couldn't get a recommendation on a Riverton doctor, then I guess it would be easy and I'd have to trust in this Dr. Smith guy over at Alta View.

On my last office call, I described my perfect doctor and the receptionist said, "That sounds like Dr. Ryan Empey!" Wow! Okay! Finally someone with a decisive answer. I didn't ask much further than that since she sounded so confident and this was my only lead. Not only that, but I remembered that Dr. Empey was the first name the labor and delivery nurse had dropped while I was there at the Riverton Hospital. So maybe we were on to something here!

I wanted to meet with both Dr. Smith and Dr. Empey as soon as possible. I was a little more confident about Dr. Smith, but they couldn't see me until March 2nd. Bummer that I'd have to wait so long but I scheduled it anyway. Dr Empey, on the other hand, could see me as early as next Monday, February 8th, including a visit to do my 20 week ultrasound I'd missed at my other clinic. Okay then. Looks like I'd be seeing Dr. Empey first and then visiting with Dr. Smith a few weeks later. Then I could make my decision.

So today was the big day! Finally I'd have my 20 week ultrasound and would get a good look at my little boy. And hopefully I'd have a better experience than at my other office. Time to put it all to the test!

Let me tell you, everything was GREAT! The ladies at the front desk were adorable, especially this the woman who helped me check in. She was excited about my ultrasound. "That's always so exciting! So much fun!" She didn't wait for me to fill out paperwork. "No one wants to do insurance stuff. You go back and do that ultrasound." What a sweetheart!

The ultrasound technician was really nice too. She was very informative, pointing out everything she was doing and printing off lots of pictures for us. She asked us questions too, about the pregnancy, about in vitro, and about our son. When she learned of my medical history, she said, "I'm sorry, but if you have to go through in vitro, I don't think you should be allowed to suffer through miscarriages too." Girl, truer words have never been spoken!

Then we met the nurse. Gosh, she was excellent! She really took the time to talk about our history and get to know us. She was so attentive, enthusiastic, and understanding. She'd gone through fertility treatments herself, so she appreciated and understood what we'd been through. She talked about how isolating it is to be infertile, when all your friends are having babies and have no idea of the difficulty. "If they want an April baby, they'll get an April baby!" she said. Yep!

She also talked about how she dumped all this time and money into in vitro and then it didn't work. She did it once and vowed never to do it again because of how emotional it was, how harrowing. Knowing my history, she couldn't understand how I survived what I did. Sometimes I don't even know myself, especially when I meet people who quit after one or two tries. They're more common than the ones who persevere because it's just so draining and upsetting. But I'm very glad I pushed forward.

Anyway, it was nice to share that with her and have her be so understanding. After years and years of other fertility treatments, she did manage to have three kids, so I was happy for her. "That's my goal!" I said. "You'll get there," she said. A few years ago, I would have rolled my eyes at her optimism. But now I appreciate it.

The doctor came in and was very fun. He seems like the kind of guy that you always see smiling and happy, like life is way too awesome to ever feel down. He said he loves talking to his patients and getting to know everyone. I was definitely enjoying his enthusiasm. I told him about my pregnancy with Gavin. He said they'd be keeping a close watch on me to make sure I wouldn't go the pre-eclampsia route again. I sure hope I don't!

All in all, my experience at this office was far better than I'd hoped, especially since every member of the staff was so excellent. My only one complaint - and it's kind of a HUGE complaint - is they wouldn't let me take video of the ultrasound! What!? Why!? Some liability thing, I guess, but so many other offices let you take video or at least give you a DVD of the ultrasound. Man, I was so bummed by that, especially since I loved everything else about the office!

I mentioned this to the doctor and he agreed it was a big bummer. He said he wasn't sure why they didn't do the DVD thing, as if that's saving them a ton of money or something. He did joke with Nick that he should act like he needed to do something on his phone but actually be taking video with it instead. I guess we just got permission to cheat. Haha! If I go with this office, I will make a big stink about it. I hate not having a video of all the fun movements in there. It's just too magical not to have it on film!

So, all I have are pictures. Sorry I can't share the big show with you. And he did put on a show, moving all around in there. I actually felt a few bumps from him during the ultrasound and it made me smile. We got a pretty good look at his face and his limbs, which were all looking very familiar. I see some meaty legs forming, just like Gavin's, and the profile looks a lot like Gavin too. And ya know what, I'm fine with that. It's exciting to think that I'm creating another cute boy in there. Seeing him move all around and looking so cute made me feel so anxious to meet him. I especially enjoyed his thumb sucking, which we saw a month ago at our last ultrasound. That kid definitely likes his thumb. We saw it on 3D ultrasound too and couldn't help but ooh and ah at the cuteness.

My dad had asked if he could come to the ultrasound and I was glad he came so he could see it live, especially since we got no video privileges. I enjoyed all of his "wows" at everything. It really is amazing what we can do with technology, to open this window into the womb. It makes me wonder what we'll be able to do with ultrasounds in another twenty or thirty years.

So, right now, we're very happy with our new office and happy to see our little boy is looking quite healthy, happy, and cute. But I'm anxious to meet with the other doctor too, find out about his staff and his personality. I did call to ask about their ultrasounds and they also don't like the videos but will at least give you a DVD, which is just as good as taking your own video anyway. So they have a huge plus there. But we'll see if his staff can compete with what we saw today. Nick and I left feeling very impressed with our experience there and that's going to be hard to beat.

I'm set to go back to the Riverton doctor on March 7th. They'll be doing another ultrasound because our little guy wouldn't cooperate and let us see the bottom of his spine. Another ultrasound? That's fine with me! I meet with the Dr. Smith at Alta View on March 2nd, though I keep trying to see if they have any cancellations so I can see him sooner. Either way, I'm feeling more excited about my new prospects of doctors and staff and will be cancelling over at my old clinic. Amazing what a journey it is to find the right doctor!!

But to me, it's worth it. This is the most magical experience and I want to be in good hands. I'm so happy for this pregnancy and anxious to see my two cute boys together. We're going to be quite the team.